I've been having so much fun with creating as of recent, due to all the free time I have now!! That's both good... and bad... It's bad for me as an adult, because it means I'm not making money. However, it's also good because I can make stuff I've been craving to make!!! Just these past few weeks, I've drawn like, 4 full images!! (thats a lot more than my usual average) I've also FINISHED AN ANIMATION MEME VIDEO??? (in a fucking program I also learned how to use) AND A LITTLE SKETCHY SILLY VIDEO?? Not only that, but I get to update my website more!! I get to cook more, and learn how to make dishes I've never made before! ALL OF THIS FREE TIME IS SO GLORIOUS, YET SO FRUSTRATING...
I fucking hate this hellscape of a country, I fucking hate CAPITALISM!! SO GODDAMN MUCH!!! I WISH I COULD LIVE FOREVER LIKE THIS, NOT NEEDING TO BUST MY ASS JUST TO PAY BILLS!! USING MY BODY FOR WORK WORK WORK, GIVING THIS PRECIOUS FREE TIME TO THE BIG CORPOS I WORK FOR.
I sometimes wonder to myself "why do I fixate on Unhappy Employee so much? out of all the other characters I have..." But then I remember the circumstances I live in. haaaaaaaa
I technically could make and create things with the job I had before. I had an okay amount of free days... fridays and saturdays off.... but.... what's the point of working 10 hours then coming home with a drained mind and body. Too tired to create, too tired to live. Sometimes when I call my friends online after a long work day, it's hard for me to even talk.
However, being a delivery driver was a pretty ideal job for me. I got to manage my time how I wanted, I dont have to talk to people a whole lot, AND I can listen to music all day. It also forces me to be outside, and my skin knows how much I lack the sun. I don't doubt I can find another position, hopefully... I mean, my first pick at a different DSP rejected me. I'm pretty hesitant to try FedEx again or work for another Amazon DSP.
Sometimes I have moments where I mildly panic, because... no money. What would I even do. I have these loans to pay off before I could move out.
I'm honestly rambling at this point, I apologize for that. Also sorry if this came across as too venty? I'm trying not to make these blogs too depressing.
In other news, an update about my bday party: I HAD A FUCKING BLAST!! I just need to make the start time work for everyone next time!!
If you're curious to see what I talked about making, I have my artist links on my home page. Also check UE's page for uh... the other ones. Heed the warnings.
-1:50 AM